Stress

“Stress is the resultant of a change—whether expected or otherwise—and the reaction to it.” This definition was given by J. S. Greenberg in the book Comprehensive Stress Management. This definition actually highlights the fact that stress happens to all of us in varying degrees just because we experience change from a second-to-second, minute-to-minute basis. Although not all changes that happen to us we will recognize as stressful, we all have experienced stress at one point or another.

Most of the time, what we might consider stressful are those that we perceive as more negative, possibly even unpleasant. And yet, there are many events in our lives that we consider to be positive that are very stressful as well. Getting married or having a new baby in the family is very stressful, but generally held to be positive occurrences in our lives. Getting promoted and having more responsibilities can also be quite pleasant and yet immensely stressful.

Essentially, what makes a situation more or less stressful are the following elements: predictability and controllability vis-à-vis our own stress reactivity. When something is predictable, we are able to prepare better and feel less stressed about it. When the unexpected happens, we tend to be more stressed out. Similarly, we have milder reactions when we see that we have what it takes to handle the hassles that come our way. We feel overwhelmed and unnerved when we feel that we are unable to control a given situation that comes our way. These two elements fall within the context of our own reactions to the situations at hand. There is something personal in our reactions, as some of us are more anxious than others and there are some situations that trigger more reactions from some but not for others.

Although stress can affect us in various ways, we know that it can disrupt our physical and mental health. Being exposed to chronic or sustained stress can take its toll on anybody, and physical illness is often a frequent visitor, if not a regular companion, in such times.

This is because stress causes our bodies to react as if it were going on emergency. We stop absorbing nutrients and our bodies prepare for quick action. Our bodies suppress our immune system in favor of releasing sugars that would enable us to think quickly and act just as swiftly. Although this can be experienced by a person as a pleasurable high, such a sustained state is detrimental to one’s wellbeing.

Although stress is quite unavoidable, we do need to minimize it by taking care of ourselves. Minding the basics of eating balanced meals, sleeping enough, and getting regular physical exercise can help us resist the ill effects of stress. Being mindful of our current state of mind and practicing good breathing habits are also good ways of dealing with stress reactions. Through these, the bottom line is taking good care of oneself, and there is no substitute to this age old idea.

Realistic Optimism

What comes to your mind when you hear the word “optimism”? For many, the word evokes an idea of being positive and thinking of the best possible interpretation out of any situation. Optimistic people are said to be happy people who think of the best outcomes even in bleak and dire situations.

Critics of optimists argue that one needs to look at things squarely and just see things for what they are. Interpreting the situation in favor of one’s interests is to make an inaccurate wishful thinking. Thinking of the good side of things and wishing for the best can be rather delusional, and can only bring about disappointment.

I would like to make a case not just for simple optimism, but for realistic optimism. By realistic, I actually want to accommodate what critics of simple optimism are saying.

I would like to illustrate my point with the proverbial glass of water being half full or half empty. Let’s say, one thinks it favorable to have more water. If the glass is indeed half full and half empty, a person who is realistically optimistic will simply say it is half full and celebrate the fact that there is still half a glass of water. Although it is equally accurate to say that the glass is half empty, this only brings about a sense of inadequacy and want.

In a similar instance that the glass is only a quarter full, a realist will argue that it is more accurate to describe the glass as being three quarters empty. And yet, describing this glass as being a quarter full and celebrating what is still there can still bring a sense of joy. Rather than bemoaning the fact that a greater portion of the glass is empty, one is able to appreciate the little that one still has. This is the true test of realistic optimism—to be able to celebrate the little that one has instead of lamenting what one does not have and what one could still have.

I admit that, in a way, such optimism can also lead to complacency and low expectations of oneself. Admittedly, this is not always helpful, and this is something optimists need to be careful about. Balancing realistic optimism with realistic goal setting might be a good combination. When an optimist is able to celebrate what one has—little thought this may be—and still improve his or her situation, then the optimist is able to strive for more despite being content with what he or she has. This is the essence of realistic optimism.

This habit of celebrating what we have and what we treasure, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant is a valuable life sustaining habit. Research has shown that such a habit leads to more happiness in people. So, if you want to be happy, I encourage you to practice this brand of realistic optimism. What are the things in yourself and in your life that you have been taking for granted? Just think about it: there is always a cause to celebrate the little things.

Suicide Awareness

Suicide is one of those topics that many people are afraid to talk about. Because of this, it is also one of the most misunderstood realities in our society. For many whose families suffered the trauma of having a relative commit suicide, it is taboo to even talk about this in public. People are afraid that this might run in families and such an event can stigmatize the family of the one who committed suicide.

All of us have heard of stories of the heartbroken seeing no other option but to end their lives. This is all too familiar in literature and in popular tele-novelas that appeal to broad audiences across race, class and gender.

Whenever suicide is discussed, the trigger event is often mentioned as the main cause and culprit of the act. In fact, research has shown that suicide is caused by multiple factors. It is an act that cannot be taken out of the context of a person’s life, as many personal experiences may actually influence one’s act of ending one’s life.

Mental illness figures prominently among those who commit suicide. Many suffer from different psychological conditions when they plan or execute their own death. Some of these people may actually suffer from a distorted sense of reality that they harm themselves as a way of living the reality that only exists in their own minds. For example, a person who thinks that they he has super human powers can jump off a high building thinking that they can fly. Instead of flying, however, he falls and dies. Some others might be feeling so sad that they simply want to end their suffering by killing themselves.

Apart from those who are mentally ill, whether diagnosed or not, there are certain groups of people who are known to be of higher risk of completing suicide. For one, there are generally more men who complete acts of suicide than women. And there is a higher risk for homosexuals than their heterosexual counterparts. Those who have witnessed suicide of a friend or loved one are also at higher risk. Those who suffer from painful, life-threatening illnesses are also at risk.  

For many, suicide is an act of hopelessness. Those who decide to end their lives do so because they are in emotional pain and can no longer see any future for themselves. It is a way out of their misery and their suffering.

Apart from all the examples I have given so far, there are also those who harm themselves with little intention to really end their lives. These people may typically ingest some chemicals (e.g., over-the-counter drugs like paracetamol, muriatic acid, detergent, etc.) that will do more harm to their bodies than actually put an end to their lives. These are really acts that are nonlethal, which are more cries for help and attention. They want to get the help that they need and do not know how to do so appropriately.

If you suspect someone you know to be in any risk for self-harm or suicide, you can ask the following questions simply and directly:

•  Are you thinking of hurting yourself or even ending your life?  
• When was the last time these thoughts came to your mind? How strong are these thoughts?
•  Have you made any plans as to how you are going to do it? If so, do you have the means of carrying out your plan (e.g., have access to a gun, buying the lethal chemicals to ingest, having the rope to be used to hang oneself, etc.)?

An affirmative answer to even one of these questions means that that person is likely to be at some risk for committing suicide. In such cases, you can do the following:

•  Do not leave that person on his/her own. If you cannot be with that person for a long period of time, make sure you endorse him or her to someone who can.  
• Inform as many people as you can about the risk of this person, including friends and family members, and get as much support as you can for both yourself and the person at risk.  
• Make a referral to a hospital that can keep watch round the clock. At night, the person can be brought to the emergency room of any hospital.  
• Take care of yourself and do not make yourself solely responsible for the wellbeing of this person.  
• Refer the person to a psychiatrist and psychologist as soon as possible.

Attention on Filipino Psychologists

On 31 August 2010, a popular daily ran its main editorial entitled “Psychologists Needed” (http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/editorial/view/20100831-289657/Psychologists-needed). It was a commentary on the need for psychologists in handling critical situations, such as the recent hostage crisis that transpired at the Quirino Grandstand. The following day, Medical Anthropologist Michael Tan and regular columnist of Pinoy Kasi of the same daily ran a follow up entitled “Wanted: Psychologists” (http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20100901-289848/Wanted-psychologists). These two articles cast a national spotlight on my profession, giving psychologists the attention it deserves.

Unfortunately, many Filipinos still misunderstand the field of psychology. Despite the fact that a general psychology course is now a required general education requirement for all tertiary institutions, the field of study and the profession is still generally riddled with stigma and misconceptions.

There are very few institutions in the Philippines that have official positions for psychologists. This explains the fact that approximately 80% of the members of the biggest professional organization for psychologists in the Philippines, the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP, http://pap.org.ph/), are teachers in colleges and universities. Little known to many, among those who hire psychologists is the following: private organizations that have human resources departments; mental health institutions (e.g., centers for mental health, specialized mental hospitals, etc.), and selected large tertiary hospitals. The current scope of organizations that hire psychologists is very limited despite the fact that psychology, given its range of applied fields, is relevant in any environment that involves people.

Psychology is defined as “the study of human behavior and mental processes.” This is certainly a very broad definition; and aptly so because psychology is indeed a very broad field.

In the Philippines, however, this field is still in its infancy. Not more than two years ago, the PAP launched a certification of psychology specialists. Among the areas of specialization recognized are the following:

• Assessment psychology – involves the use of various data-gathering methods and instruments to measure ability, aptitude, achievement, attitudes, motivations, interests, personality, and mental health  
• Clinical psychology – engages in the scientific study of mental health, personality and everyday adjustment 
• Counseling psychology - facilitates personal and interpersonal functioning across the life span with a focus on emotional, social, vocational, educational, health-related, developmental, and organizational concerns 
• Developmental psychology - concerns the nature of human development or change (in the cognitive, social, emotional, behavioral, physical aspects) throughout the life span
• Educational psychology – delves with the theory, methodology, and applications of psychology to a broad spectrum of teaching, training, and learning issues 
• Industrial-Organizational psychology - applies psychological theories, research methods, and intervention strategies to people and groups in work and non-work organizations 
• Social psychologists – focuses on the individual’s social cognition, affect, and behavior within a group and how the presence of others (real or imagined) affects that individual 

From this list, we can see that there are many other areas of specialty within the broad spectrum of psychology that is not yet recognized in the Philippines. This is probably due to the fact that there are not enough trained in these areas of specialization to warrant a separate specialty group. With a greater public interest in psychology, a broader understanding of the field can also arise. This will hopefully bring about a more relevant profession to a greater number of people. 

Understanding Personality

Let me ask you to think about your best friend. Now, in your mind, try to describe him or her. What words come to your mind? What are the characteristics that you like about him/her? What do you not like so much?

What you just did is describe the personality, strengths and weaknesses of your friend. This is something that psychologists have been trying to figure out for many years now. Although you just described your friend without giving it much serious deliberation, people interested in personality psychology have been in a quest to find the best way people can be understood and differentiated from each other in a useful and effective manner. There are certainly many applications to such an understanding.

After many years of research, psychologists have come to the understanding that there are five key clusters of characteristics that somewhat summarize the way that people’s personalities can be understood. These five clusters of characteristics can also be thought of as 5 continuums of traits that people possess from one extreme of its spectrum to the opposite extreme. There seems to be little overlap among these five areas, and using them in combination can be quite helpful in shedding light on the person’s crucial characteristics. The 5 clusters of traits are summarized in the acronym “OCEAN.” This word stands for these 5 trait continuums, which are as follows: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Let me explain each one.

Openness is the extent to which a person is able to expand his or her fields of experience. This can include one’s openness to understanding oneself and exploring one’s thoughts and feelings. It also encompasses one’s curiosity for new things and venturing out to explore them. Such persons attempt to find appreciation in various activities and experiences, and seldom limit themselves. On the opposite end of this continuum are those who are wary and cautious of exploring beyond what might be familiar. Those who are on this side of the openness continuum are rather conservative and live quite restricted lives.

Conscientiousness includes self-discipline, orderliness and efficiency on one end of the continuum. These people are dutiful and can be relied upon to do the right thing most, if not all, the time. They are high achievers and prefer to plan ahead. On the other end of this continuum are people who prefer to be more spontaneous and less contrived. They are free spirited, and like to live “on the edge.” They never plan and are not particular with the way they organize their things and their day-to-day lives.

Extraversion is the external orientation that one person has on one end of the continuum. They are full of energy and typically display positive and cheerful dispositions. They are energized in the company of others and desire constant stimulation. They also thrive in social situations. The opposite end of this spectrum is people who are more shy and reserved. These are people who prefer quiet and are often self-satisfied.

Those who are said to be agreeable are easy to get along with. They are people-centered, friendly, and tend to be cooperative. They are rather compassionate and considerate of others. On the other end of this continuum are people who tend to be suspicious and wary. They can also be quite irritable and antagonistic.

The last of the five is neuroticism. Those who are said to be high on this set of traits are prone to experience negative emotions rather easily. They are sensitive to the slights of others and get hurt easily. They might find themselves feeling sad and helpless every so often, or even angry and anxious at other times. They are quite vulnerable to such negative experiences. Those who are on the opposite side of this continuum are more confident and self-assured. They are generally happy about themselves and easily adjust to the day-to-day hassles that they experience.

It is important to note that these five sets of personality characteristics are seen within the context of a continuum. Many of us often possess some degree of traits from either end of the spectrum, frequently leaning towards one side but rarely going on an extreme.

Now, I would like to invite you to draw 5 lines representing the 5 trait continuums. You can even put a value of -10 on one end and +10 on the other end. After doing this, you might want to think about the friend you thought about at the beginning of this article. Rate him or her along the 5 lines you drew. Does this help you understand him or her better? I should hope so. You might also want to try doing the same for yourself.

Play Therapy

Only in Grade IV, Andy is not doing well in school. For about two years now, he has not been getting good grades, and his parents are on his case. They want him to do better, and they are doing the best that they can to push him harder. Andy feels pressured and tries to escape his situation by playing video games. Apart from the low grades, he has also been involved in a few disciplinary cases in school. He is known as a class bully and he does not have too many friends. After many meetings in school, his guidance counselor recommended for his parents to bring him to a psychologist. Although unsure how a professional can help them, Andy’s parents accompany him to see a psychologist.


After conducting a thorough evaluation process, the psychologist recommends regular play therapy for Andy. Having explained to his parents how this may help Andy, his parents agreed to have him attend weekly hour-long sessions with the psychologist. Every so often, the parents were also involved in discussing the progress noted in Andy over the weeks and months.

Play is the most natural way that children relate to the world around them. At the same time, play is also the way that children are able to express themselves with little or no reservation. Using these givens, psychologists create a safe environment for children to be able to express themselves and find a resolution to the circumstances in which they find themselves. This is all done in the context of a natural play environment that puts the child at ease. In as much as they are given much control over how they will use the play therapy hour (e.g., what toys to use, how the toys will be played, what topics will be brought up and discussed, etc.) , limits are also set in terms of appropriate behaviors.

The most important element in play therapy is the relationship that is built between the child and the therapist. By far, this is cornerstone of this intervention. In the person of the therapist, the child is allowed to gain confidence in their own abilities and personal resources. The children are made to feel good about themselves, basing on the reality of their experiences. This context allows the child to freely express themselves, and in this process, discover a sensible way of dealing with their difficulties.

Although the toys and materials in play therapy are secondary only to the person of the therapist, they are also carefully chosen to evoke basic themes that portray the experience of the child. A doll house complete with various family members is a common fixture in play therapy rooms. Art materials and a sand box are also often seen.

In the years I have been doing play therapy, I have seen children magically blossom right before my eyes. Once affirmed and supported, the children naturally express themselves and find themselves. They are able to deal with the complexities of their situation in a way that words often cannot simply express. This is one clear advantage of using play as a medium for therapy—words are not the most integral elements in making sense of the world of the child, both outside and within.

So far, I have explained play therapy in a very generic sort of way. Please do not think that play therapy can only apply to specific emotional concerns of children. The truth is that this intervention can be quite versatile across various concerns that children may have. It has also been used with adolescents and adults as well. Trained play therapists are able to create the environment that best addresses the needs of a particular child.

Andy enjoyed his play therapy sessions. He found an ally in his play therapist, and after a number of sessions, was able to gain a better sense of himself. This newfound self-mastery allowed him to gradually do better in school. He also began to have friends in school as his reputation of being a bully faded. His parents also learned to discipline Andy in ways that enhanced Andy’s self-mastery. The progress noted became clear signs that Andy was ready to end his play therapy sessions.

Psychological Trauma

Its typhoon season again, and it can be a very difficult time for many of our kababayans. Particularly for those who lost loved ones and property from the onslaught of rains and winds just a few months ago, this season is yet another reminder of nature’s unforgiving fury. It is also a reminder of the pain and suffering that they experienced because of calamities past.


The typhoons and the floods that came and went were frightening experiences for many. Although most people would react within a tolerable range of negative reactions, there are a few who may react to the situation more extremely. In particular, the terror they feel can be traced from the time a severe, or series of, life threatening events happened. This is when psychological trauma is said to have been experienced.

Traumatic incidents are not only limited to typhoons and floods. They can be other natural disasters, such as, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, droughts and famines, tsunamis, and the like. They can also be man-made disasters, such as, war and displacement, bombings, fires, crime, domestic violence, and violations of one’s modesty. These can also be single incidents or something that is repeated over and over again within a given period of time.

There are essentially three groups of behaviors that are associated with these reactions after a particularly stressful time, which include the following: going back to the traumatic events; trying to get away from the memory, and feeling anxious and wary. Let me explain each of these.

The first is the tendency for the traumatized person to keep on going back to the incident(s) over and over again in their heads. They can get flashbacks, nightmares, and really frightening thoughts. This can happen from out of the blue, and can make a person feel stuck and paralyzed. For an outside observer, the person might look like they are staring into empty space for periods of time.

The second is the desire to avoid anything that will remind them of the traumatic incident. For instance, a person who is traumatized by extreme flooding might not want to stay in their house anymore and would choose to live on higher ground. This can also take the form of feeling numb and not really feeling anything at all. Yet others can feel a deep sense of guilt, sadness and/or worry. They might stay away from places and people that remind them of the traumatic incident(s). Some might even have a poor recollection of what really happened.

The third is a feeling of being nervous and wary. As a result of the traumatic event(s), people find life to be rather unpredictable, and anything drastic can really happen anytime. They feel anxious in daily life, and they can even be easily startled. They can be in a constant state of vigilance, as though something really bad is about to happen. As a result, they might have a hard time sleeping and have a volatile emotional life. They can sometimes feel very angry or very sad with little provocation.

A combination of some of these extreme reactions may be quite acceptable for a few weeks after a particularly traumatic event. After all, such reactions are quite understandable in the face of rather extreme circumstances. They do become rather disruptive when they continue to be as strong even after a few months from the actual incident. When these feeling and behaviors persist, consulting a mental health professional might prove to be helpful.