Name Game in Emotional Management

            For many of us, going to school meant learning the basics of math, reading, and writing.  Day in and day out, we engaged in one drill after the next to master these basic skills for learning.  Seldom did we talk about feelings in classrooms, as if these internal experiences are not really important.  In fact, we need to learn about our feelings.  Like most learning, this is not something we innately know.  And only when we know the full range of our emotional experiences can we start to venture into managing them. 

            Feelings are hard to control.  They come and they go.  Oftentimes, we have little direct power over our emotional reactions.  Three extreme feelings that get in the way of healthy living are rage, depression, and anxiety.  In separate entries, I have written about each of these.  These are feelings that we might experience intensely, and we often do not know how to help ourselves.  As children, we might have even been disciplined when we expressed these emotions.  And so, many of us have learned over time to hide them and pretend they never exist.  This is certainly a denial of the emotion, rather than its management. 

            Ironically, the first step towards managing one’s emotions is acknowledging it.  We need to give it a name for us to know how to handle it.  One of the greatest mistakes many people make is to deny their feelings and hope that they go away forever.  This seldom happens, as emotions have a life of their own.  They need to be acknowledged in order for them to take their course. 

            After acknowledging our feelings, we might want to decide what to do with it.  When we understand our thoughts that occur with these feelings, we have a better understanding of the power of these feelings over us.  Doing relaxation exercises help us calm ourselves down in times of intense emotions.  Only when we are able to think rationally can we really make a good decision about what to do about our feelings.  That sounds paradoxical, but true.  Thoughts have a role in emotional management.  If only to take a break from our feelings for a short time, we might also do something to distract ourselves.  We can practice ABC-DEF (as explained in this blog dated 10 August 2010) to manage feelings more effectively. 

            On the 7^th of December 2011 (Wednesday), my colleague from PsychConsult, Inc., ZsaZsa Briones, PhD, and I will be facilitating a post-conference workshop at the SMX entitled “Bago Maghalo ang Balat sa Tinalupan:  Teaching Children to Effectively Manage their Feelings.”  It is one of the many workshops on offer after the 2-day “Ako Para Sa Bata-The Manila Conference:  Creating a Safe and Caring Environment for our Children.”  We hope to incorporate the principles and practices of effective emotion management that we need to practice and teach our children.  You may view details from this link <http://www.speedycourse.com.ph/events/4597/ako-para-sa-bata-the-manila-conference---creating-safe-and-caring-environment-for-children>.