Of Rituals and Families

            In a few weeks’ time, it will be Christmas again.  This is probably the most major of all holidays in the Philippines, and many usual routines slow down to give way to preparations, social gatherings and family reunions.  For many families, it is also a season for time-honored traditions and rituals.  For instance, many attempt to complete the novena masses prior to Christmas day called the Simbang Gabi.  There are also gifts to prepare and to exchange, and holiday foods abound in many households.  Sights and smells often prompt the feelings associated with the festivities. 

            These rituals and traditions that exist within families mostly hover around particular days of the year.  They can also happen during special occasions of individuals, such as, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and other important life events.  Each family repeats these traditions time and again, and may have been created by the current generation of the family or something passed down from earlier generations. 

            When we speak of family rituals, however, we don’t only refer to these special occasions, we can also talk about everyday habits.  These can include reading a story and prayers before bedtime, having meals together at home, and following a regular daily schedule.  These daily rituals are, in fact, as important as the annual or occasional rituals held on memorable days.  Although these daily rituals are more common, they are sometimes even more difficult to follow, as they entail the commitment of each member of the family. 

            All these rituals, whether done daily or annually, are very important in the way they build the life of a family.  They are the stuff that memories are made of.  Children remember the roles that each individual member takes on in these events and how these events are played out on a day to day or year to year basis.  Not to mention that this is also what adults talk about when they remember events from their past. 

            The life of the family revolves around rituals and traditions.  They create stability and security in the home environment that can never be underestimated.  In fact, these routines and rituals have proven to be effective in keeping families together and in preventing members from getting into difficult situations. 

            Traditions and rituals need not be time honored and centuries old.  They only need to be something that is done by a family every so often.  So, it is never too late to start these routines and rituals.  The trick is for an influential member of the family to initiate it, and to get the commitment of the various members to sustain the activity.  Getting input from each member actually helps in involving everyone, and promotes the commitment to the whole family. 

            As you think about this topic of rituals in families, can you think about the rituals your family did when you were growing up?  If you have your own family now, how have you continued these traditions?  What are the new habits you made up for your spouse and children?   Do you think there are new routines and rituals you would like your family to adapt?  If so, what would they be?