Parenting Styles

After last week’s post, I thought it relevant to talk about a basic model that helps us understand the different parenting styles.  I would like to discuss the 4 parenting styles of Maccoby and Martin (1983).  

This is a relatively simple model that combines 2 levels of 2 factors.  The first factor is the extent that parenting is child-oriented, and the second is how demanding the parent is.  The combination of two levels of these factors result to the 4 styles of parenting, which are as follows:

a)      Authoritative – Authoritative parents expect much from their children.  They challenge their children to do their best.  They are also child-centered and are more democratic in negotiating rules and expected behaviors.  Ultimately, decisions may be made by parents, but children are often consulted and their sentiments are considered in decision making.   

b)      Authoritarian – Parents who adapt the authoritarian style also have high demands on their children.  However, they believe that they know best, and that children have no role in making decisions in terms of rules and expectations.  As such, parents often dictate on their children and expect them to follow. 

c)      Indulgent – Indulgent parents tend to be very child-oriented.  They give in to the wants and desires of their children without making a lot of demands on them.  These parents see their roles as being nurturing and allowing children to be children. 

d)     Negligent – Parents who do not make any demands on children and who are busy minding their own with little regard for the children are called negligent.  They are often too absorbed with their own affairs that the children are pushed to the background of their lives. 

According to research done in the United States, Authoritative parenting generally bring up children who  are happy, capable, and successful.  Authoritarian parents are generally obedient and diligent in what they do, but are not always very happy.  They are also not very good in interpersonal relationships and their self-esteem is not always positive.  Children of indulgent parents are said to be less happy and tend to have problems with authority figures.  Finally, children of negligent parents tend to lack self control and have more negative self-esteem. 

When I did my thesis for my master’s degree, I actually used this model of parenting to understand how parents change their style of parenting when their children are identified to have some emotional problems.  Basically, what I found was that the more child-centered the parents were, the more they tended to pay more attention to the child.  They nurtured the child and also increased their demand for the child to help themselves.  In so doing, parents tended to move towards the preferred parenting style in such a situation.  Parents who tended to be less child-centered did not make much changes in their parenting style.  Some of them even started to be concerned about being identified as having some difficulties, fearing the stigma of such identification and shying away from potential help. 

This is just one study done in the Philippines using a western model, and might shed light on the virtues of being child-centered and yet challenging children to work harder and be self-motivated.  What style do you see yourself adapting and how do you think that is working for you and your child?