School Refusal

Joey is a 6-year old boy who started attending Grade 1 of a big elementary school recently. From the first day of classes, he had been showing signs that he did not want to attend school. He behaved similarly when he was in preschool, particularly in the first few days after school opening. He was enrolled in at least 3 preschools before he was convinced by one of his teachers to attend school more regularly. His parents thought that he would outgrow this by the time he was ready for big school, but he appeared not to do as they had expected.


It has been almost a month since school started for most students in the Philippines. And by this time, school work is going full speed ahead. The rhythm of waking up early to beat the morning rush hour, doing homework, and studying for the upcoming quizzes and exams have also probably taken hold of the daily routine.

By this time, some parents may be out of their wits on what to do with their children who refuse to go to school. Some children just quietly refuse to go to school. Others might put up a major tantrum whenever they are encouraged to attend school. In these situations, teachers and school counselors are also putting in their share to support these students.

Fortunately, school refusal is not a very common problem. Nevertheless, it is a difficult situation for parents who have to face this predicament.

Unlike truancy, the situation when a child or adolescent intentionally plans and actually skips classes, school refusal is not an act of defiance. The child or adolescent does not really wish to disobey his or her parents. Oftentimes, they also have no words to describe their own experience. They often do not even understand why they feel the way they do, and the best response they have is to refuse to go to school and remain in the comfort of their home. They would rather endure the persistent urgings for them to return to school than face the overwhelming negative feelings of going to school.

For these children and adolescents, fear, worry and anxiety are likely prominent in their internal experience. Without really knowing why they feel the way they feel or what made them feel that way, they can only express their refusal to go to school. Some of these young people may actually be experiencing clinical depression and/or an anxiety disorder.

In helping our youth who refuse to go to school, a balance needs to be made in acknowledging and addressing their inner experiences and in challenging them to attend school at the soonest possible time. In this labored process, understanding the extent to which the school is able to accommodate the special needs of a child is integral. Having an understanding school administrator with open teachers and skillful guidance counselors are certainly a key to getting effective results. Most importantly, parents need to show their unwavering support in the journey of these children.

Fortunately for Joey, his parents brought him to see a psychologist, who managed to coordinate a treatment plan with his family and teachers. Initially, Joey spent an hour in the guidance counselor’s office. At least, he agreed to be in school for that duration than not at all. His time in school gradually increased to two hours and then three. In a few weeks’ time, he was able to attend regular classes.