Psychological Resiliency

            Jose and Rico are siblings.  They are about 2 years apart, and they have similar interests.  Jose is more reserved and shy, and often relies on his younger brother for many things.  Rico, on the other hand, is very active and has many ideas.  He likes solving problems and is able to express himself fairly well.  They have parents who are constantly present and always ready to lend them a helping hand. 

            One day, the two children are caught in the middle of a tragic vehicular accident, where the driver lost his life.  The two children could have lost their lives, but somehow survived.  They were in the hospital for two weeks, where their conditions were critical at some point in time.  Two weeks after leaving the hospital, Jose started to have nightmares.  He also had bouts of anxiety and avoided riding cars at all cost. 

            Although the brothers went through the same life threatening event, the reactions of the two boys are obviously different.  Given such information, many people will easily make the conclusion that perhaps Jose is “weaker” than his brother Rico.  Maybe he is more “sensitive” and can’t deal with stress as well.  In a way, such assertions can be quite dangerous, as it tends to downplay the strengths that individuals have, and assume that certain reactions are caused by their general weakness.  There is a presumption that some people are not as robust as others, and overlooks the fact that each one has individual strengths that need to be appreciated. 

            So, what is the difference between Jose and Rico?  How is it that their reactions to this stressful event different.  Many psychologists have studied similar questions and came up with the idea of psychological resiliency.  In summary, these are resources that allow a person to be able to bounce back quicker amidst adversity.  These studies have been crucial in identifying specific resources and behaviors that spell the difference between what might be more or less resilient. 

            Essentially, there are external and internal resources that are thought to be crucial in making people more resilient.  External resources include those that are present and available to a person in his or her environment.  Internal resources are personal characteristics, habits, and behaviors that help a person deal with hassles more effectively.  External resources often include the following: 

-   having trusting and supportive relationships (e.g., understanding and affirming family members, supportive friends, etc.); and   

-   having access to basic services (i.e., health care, education, security, welfare, etc.).     

As for internal resources, optimism and a belief in one’s capacity to deal with one’s situation are crucial.  People are more resilient when they:   

-   feel lovable and appealing;

-   have pride in themselves and feel a sense of competence;  

-   can be independent and responsible;

-   are able to express themselves adequately;

-   hone their skills in solving problems;

-   have the skills to manage feelings and impulses;

-   foster a healthy sense of humor; and  

-   have a belief in something higher than themselves (e.g., hope, transcendence, morals, God). 

            As these factors have been identified, we can help ourselves and our children become more resilient or stress-proof by honing the skills involved.  Knowing that these internal resources can be developed and learned is important, as it demystifies what makes a person more effective in managing difficult situations.  This knowledge also highlights our need to be able to support each other in adversity, and to extend our helping hand to those who have a greater need than ourselves.   

            Fortunately for Jose, he was able to get the help that he needed, and continues to learn the various skills that enable him to deal with stress and adversity more effectively.  Having supportive family members and friends have also been helpful in his full recovery.