Ang Bagong Ama (The New Father)

            For some of you who bring your children to school or are active in the parent associations of your children’s schools, you might notice that there are more and more fathers getting involved in our children’s education and day-to-day upbringing.  Although this was traditionally the mothers’ job, men are starting to take on this role.  One of my colleagues, Melissa Garabiles, did her thesis on this topic and found out some interesting information about this emerging phenomenon in Phlippine society. 

            Apart from the stay-at-home father phenomenon that has been happening in many developed countries, the changing demographics of our Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW’s) have led to this shift of parenting roles in our country.   According to data from the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA), the numbers of Filipino women leaving the country to work overseas has been increasing over the past 2 decades, and has surpassed the number of men leaving the country in some of the years past.  With this feminization of our OFW’s, there are more children left in the country with only their fathers to take care of them.  Melissa called them the “Bagong Ama (new father).” 

            The research that Melissa undertook identified the factors that helped our Bagong Ama to achieve a sense of wellbeing.  She identified the following: 

• That the men continued to perceive themselves as the head of the family, and maintained the traditional position of a father in the Filipino household. 
• Despite this acknowledgement of their role as the head of the family, they were also able to adjust to their new role as the main caregiver in the home and the manager of the household.  They also adjusted to the idea that their wives are the one’s bringing home the bacon.  This led to a more egalitarian relationship between husband and wife.  
• They also see themselves as the primary teachers of their children, seeing the need for them to impart what they know, their beliefs and value system to their children. 
• These men were also able to seek the support of their peers—old friends and new ones who share their situation as a single parent.  Many of these Bagong Ama found themselves joining church groups and other socio-civic organizations.  

            Melissa also took a look at the level of involvement these fathers had in raising their children.  She found that our Bagong Ama tended to get more involved in child rearing on a day-to-day basis when they: 

•  Feel confident about their abilities in performing this role;
•  Can see that what they do brings about results, that they are effective;
•  Have the unwavering support of their wives who are overseas;
•  Possess the support of extended family members in performing this role; and 
•  Are able to access the help and support of their friends and peers. 

             This study is very relevant for us Filipinos as it helps us understand the plight of the OFW’s, as it changes the context of the basic unit of our society—the family.  In a way, it breaks the stereotype of men who have to project a macho image and be involved only in manly things.  It also helps us reconsider the stories we have heard of unemployed men who abuse alcohol and family members.  It is a positive look at factors that appear to matter in the adjustment of men in the novel situation of being the only caregiver at home.  In identifying these factors, these men can direct their efforts in helping themselves.  Those around them can also contribute in accepting this new role and supporting them in happily fulfilling it.